Dorseyville Daze

Remembering Dad

I wrote this a few years ago as a tribute for my father. I thought it appropriate to throw it up here considering this special day. Hope you enjoy it.

Remembering Dad

Dear Dad,

You left us twelve years ago today. It some ways it seems like yesterday. I remember standing around your hospital bed at the last moment of your life. I remember Laura telling you it was okay for you to stop fighting and to “go be with Papa”. That does seem like yesterday - so vivid in my mind. I remember asking God to give me peace and strength for my mom and sister. He did. And He eventually healed my hurting heart. Now, even though I still miss you, I have wonderful memories that help fill the void that was left when you were taken away.

One of the most vivid memories I have of you occurred when I was just a young child. I couldn’t have been more than three or four years old. You had just learned of your mother’s death. I remember you just wailing in grief. I had never seen you cry like that-before or after. I guess I was too young to really understand. I don’t remember feeling grief. Just alarm. What a tender heart you had. People might not have realized it from just looking at you that you were a very sentimental, dare I say, mushy person. You got teary-eyed from commercials and when talking about your country or your kids. Although you never served over-seas you were a patriot of the first order. You taught me to respect the flag and the brave people who serve in the armed forces, sacrificing their lives for this great country and the freedoms that we often take for granted.

You took care of your family the best way you knew how. You were determined to teach your kids to not make the mistakes that you made. You always wanted a better life for us than you had. You taught me much. Because of you, I know how to love my children. You modeled what unconditional love looks like. And you told me you loved me. All the time! Only later did I realize that many kids do not hear that from their fathers. I have continued that legacy. If my boys know nothing else, they know that Dad loves them. I will continue to verbally shower them with love for as long as I am breathing.

So many memories come to mind. I miss the Sunday afternoon phone calls that we had. Our mutual love for football always gave us a topic for discussion on game day. I know you enjoyed those moments. I recall your “Southern Living” perfectly-balanced Thanksgiving dinner plates. We would be half finished with our meal before you even started eating - meticulously plating your food in a manner that would make any southern chef or food editor proud. Then you would complain that we all were eating too fast. It makes me chuckle to think about it. I remember how you loved to cook and how the way you made it was the “right way”. You put the same kind love and devotion into your food that you did with your kids. And your culinary philosophy? “Anything is better with a Jalapeno in it”.

You did so many things right. But some of the greatest things I learned, I picked up from your mistakes. You lived life on your terms. You were a fun loving guy who always knew how to let loose and enjoy himself. And some of my strongest convictions stemmed from your greatest weaknesses. Because of you, Dad, I don’t drink or gamble. And while I am not necessarily glad I learned life lessons in that way, I am grateful that I could learn from watching the effects of life choices that you made. I do not sit in judgement. These were hard lessons to learn (sometimes for both of us) and I am grateful, as I am sure that you are, that I did not have to learn them directly. I thank you for that.

You demonstrated to me that love of and for my family is the most important thing. I remember bringing Rhonda home on our first trip to Sweetwater. It was at Homecoming that year. Before the game, you took a picture of her. You kept that picture with your stuff in your small filing cabinet, always close. Several years later, you wore a tux at our wedding, at her request, even though that was not your way. You really took her into your heart and loved her like your own. You were so proud when Trey was born. I kept my childhood promise - to name him after you, the father that I adored. We were both relieved that the Dorsey name would carry on. You would be so proud of the man that he is becoming. And Noah is following in his footsteps. I hope I can be to them what you were to me. My helper. My friend. My confidant. My compass. My advisor. My dad.

Love you always,

Donny

October 8, 2006

Donny, 41

A Proud Poppa Remembers

I remember, when Trey was born, my father telling me to make every moment count because time would fly by. And before I knew it we would be sending him off. I said, "Okay, dad" and dimissed it as sentimentalism. He was a very sentimental man, my dad. Once again, though, I find that he was right. (And as I get older I find that he was right about a great many things.)

As I sat there on Thursday night and the band started playing "Pomp and Circumstance", I reflected on the past 18 years of Trey's young life. I remembered the struggles that he went through and the victories that we witnessed. I remembered counseling him through the whole bullying ordeal and trying to help him learn to manage his anger about it. I remembered the incredible time we had on his purity weekend. I am amazed and thankful for the bond that we developed that weekend and transparency that it provided for intimate conversations that would occur later. I remembered the times we spent at Red River at church camp. Spending time with him was/is one of the joys of my life. I remembered the political conversations that we have had and his passion for conservatism that the government is apparently unwilling to demonstrate. I watched him struggle to try to find where he fits in this world - never a part of the "in group" but always wanting to be. I watched him celebrate as he was chosen as one of the four student techs for the Forney ISD during his senior year. He took pride in his work and was genuinely saddened when that job came to an end.

Now he approached wearing the cap and gown and the cords. I felt so much pride and a little sadness too. The truth is, I think I am still feeling a little sad. My dad was right. It went by so fast. Granted, he is going to be at home for just a little longer as he starts college. But it seems that everything has changed now. In some ways that is for the better. In him, I have a great friend and companion. We have so many laughs together. I see myself in him - sometimes that is not necessarily a good thing. But despite my foibles, he has turned out splendidly. But don't take my word for it. I can't count the number of people that have complimented his work ethic, compassion, and tender-hearted attitude. Rhonda and I have been truly blessed.

They say that in the last throes of life your life will pass before your eyes. I guess that, in a way, is what happened to me on Thursday night. Trey's childhood ceremoniously ended and his life passed before my eyes. What a great trip it has been! And I guess the circle of life will continue. Funny me commenting on my dad being sentimental. That's like the pot calling the kettle... well you know.

Mourning for Megan

It is funny to me how attached we get to the personalities on television news. My grandmother used to love Walter Cronkite. He could do no wrong in her eyes. In college, I woke up every morning to Charley Gibson (pre-"Charles" back then) and Joan Lunden. My friends preferred the Today Show. The more you watch these guys the more they become a part of your life. And even though we have never met them they become part of our family. Am I alone in this?

I don't watch network news anymore. Over that past years the networks have gotten so political and culturally biased that I do not trust anything that they tell me. It may all have an air of truth but they certainly spin it in a liberal manner. I don't like it and I won't watch it. (That includes the afore mentioned Charles Gibson.) We are thankful for our local Fox station which has become a part of our morning routine. Having a local morning show is great here in Dallas as they do the traffic often which greatly helps planning the morning commute. And that is where Tim and Megan come in. As the hosts of the morning show, they have become a part of our family. But now Megan is leaving to return to LA to be closer to her family. I am crushed. How can I be so attached to her? She travels a lot and when she has been gone it has been very disappointing to me. But all was not lost because I knew she would come back. But, alas, she will not come back this time.

They have not announced, to my knowledge, who will replace her - as if that were possible. But I guess that humans are fickle and will adapt when necessary. The same is likely true with me. Only time will tell.

Impatient and Mind-Boggled

"It should only take about 30 minutes... tops," Donny told Trey as they drove to the DMV in Terrell. It was, after all, in Terrell. Not exactly a hotbed of activity. And it was 2:00. Before the school's let out their hoards of newly minted drivers hoping to take their driving tests. "Only 30 minutes and then we can go by Walmart and still get home before Noah does." Famous last words.

I do not really understand why the government, any government, has to be so blasted inefficient. As we stood there for 1 1/2 hours watching the 4 ladies doing the work of 1 1/2 ladies I could not help to think what our country will be like when the government takes control of the banking system and health insurance. What is this country thinking? Those ladies (who I am sure all very nice and proper ladies) were moving in slow motion. One would have an issue with some form and they all would stop what they were doing and go over to "help" her. They would leave occasionally to go to the other room to "make copies" and not return for 15 minutes. Were they hand writing those copies? As the line grew longer and the people that had been there earlier to take driving tests or had other problems kept jumping back in line in front of us my patience grew very thin. I was waiting until we got up to the counter to be told that Trey didn't have the necessary forms. But that would be only after the ladies disappeared - I guess taking their long awaited break. And I guess they deserved that break because they had worked so hard. Yeah, right!

We finally reached the counter and Trey did indeed have everything he needed so now he is a full-fledged adult driver. Oh... we did not make it home before Noah did even skipping the trip to Walmart. Thank goodness for cell phones and the call to the school to alert him that he would be locked out of the house until we arrived.

Just another example of our fine government bureaucracy at work. It boggles the mind.

faceBOOK'EM, Dano

ARRRGGHH!!! I got pulled into facebook by my sweetie. Now I can't stop. Is there a 12-Step program for this. Actually, it would be much worse if I had more friends. It is fun and I have sort of connected with some of my old friends. At least, I know they are out there somewhere.

A Christmas Story

I love this time of year. The air is crisp and the Christmas lights are twinkling. There is just something about this season. It takes me back to a simpler time…

We drove through the unfamiliar neighborhood. The houses were all decorated elaborately. The warm air was blowing out of the vent across the windshield carrying the sweet scent of antifreeze. It was really cold outside. The street and lawn were covered with a fine layer of snow and the flakes were continuing to come down. Strange that it had not been snowing on my block. It did not snow often in the small town we lived in. What a wonderful treat this was.

“Okay, champ, there it is.” My dad seemed a bit excited – almost giddy as he pointed up the drive to one of the largest houses on the block. The lights were amazing. The property was ornately decorated with what had to be thousands of lights. Even though there was a lot going on it did not seem to be too much. It was really beautiful. We pulled up to the front gate and this rather odd looking little guy stepped out. My dad got out of the car and opened the door for me. I stepped out and examined the little man that had just received the car keys. He wasn’t much taller than I was. “How is he going to even reach the pedals?” I thought as we were ushered through the front gate and directed down a winding path towards the big house. The path wove back and forth, in and around, through the lit trees and other decorations. The falling snow glimmered as it fell against the multicolored lights. We passed some mechanical reindeer calmly rooting through the snow trying to get at the grass under it. At least, I think they were mechanical. I could have sworn that I caught two of them moving about out of the corner of my eye. We made it to the house and rang the doorbell. It played “Carol of the Bells” and almost immediately the door was opened by another diminutive man who asked for the invitation. My dad dug in his coat pocket and pulled out a small red and white card. All it had on it was my name. The little man took the card and welcomed us into the foyer. The outside of the house belied the enormity of the inside. And was it decked out. There was garland and ribbon all around. Lights were flashing and the whole place smelled like freshly baked cookies and hot chocolate.

Around the corner came a lady that reminded me much of my grandmother. She was a large woman with a very warm and friendly face. She smelled a bit like gingerbread, I think. The small man handed her the card. “We have been waiting for you,” she said with a smile. “Follow me.” We walked down a long hallway lined with doors. Most were closed but I did glimpse what looked like an office or study. In it was an enormous desk stacked with papers and bags and bags of what looked to be letters. I couldn’t see much more than that. The kindly lady motioned us to enter a large room at the end of the hall. As I entered, I noticed other kids, nine of them, sitting around a large chair. They seemed as confused as I was. Nervous excitement filled the air. Suddenly, a door on the other side of the room opened and a rather large red-cheeked man walked in. He had a great big smile on his face and made his way to the large chair.

“That looks like…”

“Go have a seat, dear. It is time for the story. And you,” she said looking at my dad, “can join the other parents in the kitchen. We have all kinds of goodies for you in there,” the kindly old woman said as they exited the room.

I sat down with the others and caught the gaze of the man seated in the large chair. He looked old and wisdom radiated in his eyes. There was something about this guy. He commanded respect but his persona was very warm and inviting. He seemed genuinely interested in each kid – somehow seeming to know him or her personally.

He started speaking. “Merry Christmas, boys and girls. You have been invited here to hear a very special story. It is a remarkable story of love.”

He told a story of a woman, a carpenter, an angel and a great promise. A long journey and no place to stay except for a stable filled with hay. The woman gave birth to a very special child and laid him in a manger. There were more angels, a star and shepherds and wise men. And joy. Great joy that night.

“Any questions or comments,” he asked as he finished. Everyone sat there quietly. “That is the greatest story ever told. I wanted you to hear the real reason for Christmas. It is not about getting presents or toys. Well, I suppose it is about getting one present – the Lord Jesus Christ.”

A little blonde-headed girl held up her hand. “What happened after that to the baby named Jesus,” she asked.

“Well, the story that starts at His birth, as remarkable as that is, only gets better from there. You see, God loves us so much that He gave His only son for us. That is the reason for Christmas. We have turned it into something else but you, boys and girls, need to always remember the real reason. And we all should tell others.”

“But what happened to the baby Jesus,” she asked again.

“He grew up, did many wonderful things, and proved to everyone that He loved us. But, Grace, that is a story for another time. “

The matron of the house escorted the parents back into the room. It was time to go. The old man greeted each parent as they retrieved their children.

“Max, it is good to see you again. I remember when you came for your story time and your father and his father,” he said. My dad looked at him with eyes of wonder and as we said our goodbyes the man looked at me and said, “Always remember that Jesus is the reason for the season. It is all about him. Young man,” he said with a chuckle, “I will see you again. I am sure of it. Probably in about thirty years or so.”

I wondered how he could know that. The little man delivered our car and when he got in dad didn’t even have to move the seat back. The drive back was quiet as I thought about that story and everything that had happened. As we turned into our neighborhood, I noticed the snow had stopped and the streets and lawns were absolutely dry.

We hope that your family remembers the true reason for Christmas this year. It is so easy to get caught up in all the "stuff" that so easily takes control at Christmas. Have a blessed Christmas. As the wise old man said, it is all about Jesus.

Merry Christmas from the Dorseys

Will everyone just please calm down!!

Well, it's done. As I looked around I saw everyone crying. Some were tears of elation that the first black president had been elected. Some were tears of frustration and regret from the losing side wondering what could have been done differently. And there was some anger. Trey was freaking out. "The whole country is doomed", he said. (Being fair to him, it is the first election that he has cared anything about. Unfortunately, he was a few months shy of being eligible to vote.) Okay! Will everyone just calm down. Please! Just calm down and let's take a look at what just happened.

Although, I didn't vote for the President-elect, I do acknowledge the history of the outcome. It is significant and a great day for people of color everywhere. This is not to imply that any perceived (or real) inequity between our respective races has been achieved. Maybe that inequity has taken a giant step forward. Maybe not. From the looks of things, more racial tension may be the result. If you were watching anything on television, you might think that Jesus himself had returned. There were people talking about "a new dawn". What is that supposed to mean? Oprah was hootin' and hollerin' on her show. ( I saw it on the news - no... I do not watch her dribble.) Then there was Martin Luther King Jr's son saying that his father's dream wouldn't be realized until everyone has healthcare. Really? I don't remember that in that speech. Is that equity? The government taking care of everyone? The media is just ecstatic that "their" guy won. This even though they are now admitting on air that they don't really know that much about him. It is all kind of strange to me.

As for the Republican's, I can't say that I thought we had a great chance to begin with. I have written before about the choice of Senator McCain and the general malaise of the party faithful until Governnor Palin was added to the ticket. But even then, McCain seemed to be only half-hearted in his attempt to sway people's hearts and minds to his way of thinking. Maybe he did the best he could as the slope of the hill worsened. It was clear from the beginning of the campaign that the media was against him after being in love with him during the primaries. In my opinion, his campaign was just not well ran. He came too late to the whole issue of the tax cut for 95% of people when only 60% or so people pay income taxes. He came too late to lots of issues like this. And what that campaign is now doing to Sarah Palin is unconscionable. In the bigger picture, the Republican party has some identity issues that need to taken care of before the next time around. Are we going to be the party of smaller government, less taxes, more individual responsibility or are we going to slide closer to the center? Is the country really moving to a center/left position? I don't think so. I hope not. But only time will tell.

So there I was, this morning, as I was walking/jogging thinking about all of these things. I pray a lot when I walk in the mornings while listening to my tunes. I was reflecting on what the country would be like in a few years after the far-left leaning congress and, now, administration get some of their policies through.

The song on my iPod changed and a Ginny Owens song came on.

My thoughts? What will happen to our Supreme Court? What will happen to the economy after taxes go up? What will happen when the government takes over healthcare? What will happen regarding national security? So as these questions were bouncing around inside my head something interesting happened. God spoke to me...

It's not your problem, God replied
And the rest is history

’Cause there's a bigger picture you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me
'Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you Obama I will show them, I Am

So whatever happens, we can just calm down and be assured that none of this has caught God, the creator of everything, by surprise. He is working out his plan and this is obviously a part of it. I don't know how. But just like the song says, I am going to trust in Him and just see what He does with all of this. Will you join me? The next few years are going to be interesting to say the least.

Can you believe it?

I took this a bit earlier today. Amazing the difference a few months can make. Hope it stays this way for awhile.

Politics As Usual?

With just a month to go who will win the presidency is anybody's guess. This election season has not been the typical roller coaster of past election years. My guy, Fred Thompson, got into the race too late and then couldn't excite anyone. I have followed Thompson from the days when he was a Senator from Tennessee having been swept in the conservative (and Republican) tidal wave in 1994. He was probably the closest Reaganesque conservative in the race this year. He was even an actor(love that DA Arthur Branch!) What more could you want? Well, I did want him. But as the chads fell and the digital bits were counted McCain came out on top.

Honestly, McCain was probably fourth on my list. He has some stances that I do not agree with from immigration to the now massive bail out. I have not been energized at all but decided that he would get my vote because his views on defense and fiscal responsibility are important and correct. (The bail out keeps jumping out as a big, big missed opportunity for him.) I think that Mr. Obama must be defeated. It is that simple. But then things changed on August 29. Sarah Palin.

What a breath of fresh air! Suddenly, the conservative base was energized. The polls took a bounce and all was looking up. Her strength is that she seems to be just like you and me. She told Biden the other night that those middle class people that he talks about is her. (The highest she has earned, even as Governor of Alaska, is $170K). So she is like us. At least, closer to the folks than any of the other candidates. Rhonda was actually able to meet and shake her hand last Friday. She met with T. Boone Pickens, who offices in one of the buildings that Rhonda manages, and after going through the requisite background check and instructions was given a small pin to wear that gave her access among the Secret Service. Rhonda was thrilled to meet Governor Palin. I was envious.

I am weary of all of the campaign ads and debates. We are hearing nothing new and the debates, quite frankly, have been quite boring. There have been no "sound bite" moments. No "You are no John Kennedy", or "Well, there you go again..." This is a problem because bored people change channels. I was tempted to a few times during the debate last night. But I think, in most cases, the people that actually watch the debates are people that largely have their minds made up already. Those that do not care or that just try to jump in at the last moment are the ones that will cast an uninformed vote and who knows what direction it might fall. I try to not vote on emotion but on an intelligent assessment of the issues. But with the current state of the economy and the campaign ads I would bet that there will be a lot of emotional votes cast. That is probably bad for the McCain/Palin ticket. And bad for the country.

Friday Night Lights

I saw this in a Directv email this morning:

NEW SEASON. NEW NETWORK. NEW WONDERS.

This fall, the lights shine on the Dillon Panthers only on DIRECTV.

On October 1, all-new episodes of Friday Night Lights premiere on The 101 Network — exclusively on DIRECTV. And they come to you uncut and commercial-free.

The New York Times calls Friday Night Lights “a wonder.” Time andEntertainment Weekly have hailed it as one of the top-ten TV shows. The American Film Institute has named it Television Program of the Year. And the only place you’ll experience this poignant drama series this fall is on DIRECTV.

UNCUT. UNINTERRUPTED. UNAVAILABLE. UNLESS YOU HAVE DIRECTV.

If you haven't seen Friday Night Lights, this a a great show. I don't know if I feel this way because I am from a small town that loved its HS football or what. The acting isn't great but somehow that makes everyone in it seem more real. It was on NBC for a couple of seasons and now it looks like it will only be on Directv. What about those who like it that don't have Directv? Hmmm. This is odd. I am so glad I have Directv.